Who am I and Why am I here?

Dearest Reader,

I could say that these two are the toughest questions I've been asked before and I couldn't really properly answer them right away, when one of my closest friends asked these in one of our conversations. At that moment, I answered the obvious questions like my name, who my parents are, my likes and dislikes, and etc.. But upon pondering about it while on my way home, I did not even believe the answers I just said.Who am I,indeed, and why am I here?  I mean there must be something more in this life, something I should live for, something I'm made for. But what could that possibly be? 

The answer to those questions finally revealed themselves, slowly, like how the sun would rise again for a new day, with its light building up, and finally blinding your eyes, and you can then finally see the beauty that was covered by the night. That's how it happened for me..When I finally surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, and made Him my personal Lord and savior, I felt a certain peace and stillness in my heart that I desired nothing more than to give up my old life and follow Him. And during that day last June 18, 2016, I committed my life back to my Creator, and I am reminded of the verse I learned that day from 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come."

But you see, it took me a while to follow Him and pursue a meaningful relationship with Christ.. I was raised in a big church, and when I was in my early grade school days, I was even part of the Children's Choir, but came 5th Grade I just stopped. I really don't remember exactly what happened but I could remember that Sundays were not spent on church anymore, there were no bible readings, and the bible back then was just gathering dust in the altar. And my parents back then stopped going to church as well, so as a kid, I followed their example. So fast forward to my college years, although I believed in God, my practices where different. With all the things I was exposed to, I was slowly consumed by the world. I partied once in awhile because others did it, I started to try drinking alcohol just so the people I was with won't be offended (although I hated the taste of alcohol), basically I tried fitting in. But hey, no drugs or anything extreme, I was still a good girl, just with bad habits back then. Well, it was fun for a while, but it drained my soul. I was unhappy. I felt like a zombie and I did not like the feeling at all. But what could I do? I did not know anything better than wanting to escape my reality instead of facing it and doing things right. My grades were declining because on weekends I would go out instead of studying. (I was a 4th year accountancy student that time). My passion for my course slowly faded as the majors became more and more difficult. I was trying to put it all together but inside I was so tired I wanted to give up. But I had to face the consequences of my actions, my grade in one of my major subjects did not make it to the cutoff, and I was advised by our Chairman to either shift to another course, or graduate the following year. I was devastated. I had one semester left before graduation. I felt like a total failure. I was wallowing in depression that time, and when I was at my lowest I realized who my true friends are. My two best friends who were with me from the beginning of my college life, went straight to the house to comfort me the moment they knew. (Thank you Lord, for their lives!) With my Father's encouragement and theirs as well, I decided to shift to another major ( Management Accounting) to graduate on 2016, but I promised to still pursue Accountancy. I was slowly gaining back my confidence and started fixing my priorities.

Thankfully, God really puts certain people in our lives to teach us a lesson and He uses the circumstances/people/pain that we're facing to make us realize that He should be the one we're supposed to lean to and not the world or anything it feeds us. An old friend of mine brought me one Sunday to a Bible-based church (CCF) here in our city, and the moment I stepped inside, I felt an overwhelming wave of euphoria. I couldn't explain exactly why but I felt like I was at home. I was comfortably singing along during the worship part even if I did not know the songs. The almost 2 hours of service felt like minutes because I was so engaged on what the Pastor was preaching. And I wanted to hear more. The topic back then was about Radical Love, and there.. I felt so loved by God that He allowed all the pain and the difficult situations in my life to fulfill His amazing plan of leading me back to Him. That was what was missing in my life all along! Praise God for that life changing Sunday. That was the beginning of it all. I trusted His plans for my life when things back then seemed out of hand. I knew He was in control. Looking back now, I am so grateful for all those difficult circumstances I've faced, if not for them I wouldn't have been able to experience the wonders of His love and graciousness that secretly guarded my life. 

It has been a tough yet fulfilling journey after I decided to take this road, but I am so blessed by all the lives of the people I have met, and our love and passion for Christ and serving Him just continues to inspire me even more. I have learned a lot about my self and what I am capable of doing, and I have learned a lot from really incredible people as well. And oh, by the way, God indeed fulfilled His promises. He never left me nor has He forsaken me, because after a year of starting again, I finally got my degree in Accountancy last March 2017. (Yey! Finally!) That was all because of God's grace, I must say. I'm so grateful to all the people behind that degree. To my father and stepmom who never gave up on me when I almost gave up on myself. To my family, my Auntie's who always listens to my frustrations and heartaches, To my besties, and friends for the support, and to my beloved Chairman and teachers, you guys will forever have a special place in my heart. It has almost been a year now since my heart was changed by the Holy Spirit, and I am loving the life I have chosen. So that's why this blog came to life, to document my journey in this world as I get to grow more like Him and know Him deeper.

So my answer for those two questions....Who am I?  I am a sinner saved by His grace. I am loved by Him. I am complete in Him. And Why am I here? I'm here to follow Christ and make Him known to all nations. 

All other things will fall in it's proper place, just as He has planned in each of our lives.

I am looking forward to this new and wonderful chapter in my life. :) 

Knowing He's with me, what reason do I have to fear this world?

Yours Eternally,

Chiqui.