Why I Stopped Dating

Dear Reader,

There may have been times in your life where in you've asked yourself questions like "Why doesn't anyone want to date me or be with me?" or "Am I not pretty/good enough?" or if you have dated and still it did not work " Why do they always leave me? (Insert "Hugot" Line here.) You may have concluded that you will end up being an old maid or something, but haven't you considered asking yourself that perhaps the reason why it did not work out was because God was saving you for something/someone better, and that it was His way of letting you dodge a bullet that could have ultimately wounded your heart forever? And perhaps you were not ready, spiritually and mentally, for such a serious thing as to have a relationship. Your worth as a person is in Christ alone, and you are more valuable than you think. Believe me, I've asked the same questions myself back when I let the world feed my thoughts on what relationships should be, and instead of making God the focus of my life, finding that someone became the focus. Thus, the frustrations and the heartaches came along with following the patterns of society. 

I was a nerdy girl in high school (Until now, I think..hahaha) and back then, well I was around 13 years old when I promised myself that I would give my first kiss to my first boyfriend and of course, naturally, that person would be the one I would want to end up with and marry someday. I had my ideal wedding with the ideal man, just like any normal girl would dream of at such a young age. But that ideals sort of changed while I was growing up because I could see a lot of people just jumping from one relationship to the next, dating here and there, and just basically focuses on finding the next best thing. Don't get me wrong, I tried dating before and got to know good guys and some even became my friends until now, but it always did not work out for some reason. However, I know now for a fact that it was for the best. I really have nothing against people who loves dating and all, at the end of the day, it's actually a personal choice. But after what I've been through, I realized that continuing to date while trying to keep my purity was such a difficult battle, and if not for God's intervention in my dating life, I would have compromised on my promise. After God's biggest lesson in my life yet with regards to dating, I have renewed and strengthened my conviction to wait for His best. Thankfully, by God's grace I kept my promise and I swore to Him that I would dedicate my single years in glorifying Him and serving Him with all my heart. God has convicted my heart to wait for the one He has designed uniquely for me.

Now, I am so happy with the decision I made, to stop dating and putting my energy into worldly romance, and instead focus on becoming the person God wants me to be. I stopped dating and chose to pursue a more intimate relationship with God first. I want to love first the first one who loved me, even if I'm a sinner. I chose to get to know my self even more and reach my full potential. I chose to spend more time with my family, my first support group, who has always been there for me through thick and thin. I chose to follow Him. 

It's not an easy thing though, but Praise God, I am always reminded by what I have read in one of the books that shaped my perspective and principle on dating and relationships. The book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris reminds me where to find true joy. "It's found in God's brand of love- love founded on faithfulness, love rooted in commitment."  You see, I understand that we all want to love, and be loved, but looking for that feeling in people and relationships will just leave us unsatisfied. We want unconditional love, but we cannot give what we do not have, and the best model for that unconditional love that we all desire is found in God's love for us.

In 1 John 4:10-11 it says, "This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another." Now that I'm content with His overwhelming love for me, my heart became at peace and being with someone doesn't really matter anymore as it used to be years ago. Why don't we just love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ and not conform to what the world feeds us? Our single years are the best years for us to develop and improve our characters, to advance on our careers and achieve our dreams, and just be the person we're looking for is looking for. Let's continue to trust Him and all His plans for us. We may not understand it as of the moment but we must not forget his promise to us in Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I really recommend reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (aside from the bible) to everyone who is tired of the dating game because it is full of wisdom and great explanation about What Defective Dating Is, A Principled Romance, the Direction of Purity, Guarding our hearts and many more. I got my copy in National Bookstore using the points I earned from my card. (Yahoo for having a rewards card hahaha )

I'll leave you guys with this wonderful poem entitled "Sometime" by May Riley Smith that can also be found inside the book.

Sometime, when all life's lessons have been learned,

And sun and stars forever more have set,

The things which our weak judgments have been spurned,

The things o'er which we grieved with lashes wet,

Will flash before us out of life's dark night,

As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue;

And we shall see how all God's plans are right,

And how what seemed reproof was love most true.

Then be content poor heart;

God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;

we must not tear the close-shut leaves apart,

Time will reveal the chalices of gold.

And if, through patient toil, we reach the land

Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,

When we shall clearly see and understand,

I think that we will say, "God knew the best!"

Thanks for stopping by! :) 

Yours Eternally,

Chiqui